Unclenching: A Somatic Guide to Relieving Jaw Tension, TMJ Pain, and Headaches

Understanding TMJ and Jaw Tension

Your jaw holds stories. I feel it every time my hands meet those tight, corded muscles — the ones that run from your temples, along your cheeks, into the hinge just beneath your ears. For some, they feel like braided rope, pulled taut. For others, it’s a dull, weighted ache that never quite lets go.

The temporomandibular joint, or TMJ, is small enough to cup in your palm, yet powerful enough to carry the weight of your daily expressions, chewing, speaking — and often, the clenching you don’t even notice. When stress, posture, or habit overwork the muscles around this joint, the tension doesn’t just stay local. It sends a quiet thrum up into the temples, down into the neck, sometimes even behind the eyes.

I often see three main threads woven into TMJ discomfort:

• The unseen clench — Teeth grinding or jaw bracing, often during sleep or moments of concentration. The muscles work overtime, never fully releasing.

• The forward pull — Hours bent toward screens or phones draw the head forward, stacking strain into the neck and jaw.

• The lingering echo — Past dental work, injury, or repetitive chewing patterns can leave the tissue shortened, less able to stretch and soften.

These patterns, left unchecked, can lead to headaches, earaches, or that sense of “face fatigue” at the end of the day. But here’s the truth I want you to know: the jaw is not meant to live in constant contraction. With the right touch, space can return to the joint. Muscles can unwind. Breath can move again without meeting resistance.

Why TMJ Tension Causes Headaches

Your jaw and your head are more connected than they seem. The muscles that move your jaw — the masseter, temporalis, and pterygoids — share a neighborhood with the muscles that anchor your skull and neck. When one group is overworked, the others join in.

So, if your jaw is clenching, the pull doesn’t stop there. The tension can climb into your temples, wrap behind your eyes, or press like a band across your forehead. Sometimes it’s a steady hum of discomfort. Other times it builds into a full headache that takes over your day.

Massage helps by interrupting this chain reaction. When we soften the jaw muscles, we take pressure off the connective tissues and nerves that carry pain upward. Release the jaw… and the head follows.

How Massage Helps Masseter Pain

When I work with someone whose jaw has been holding tension, I don’t just think about the joint. I think about the whole terrain it lives in — the muscles along the cheeks, the fascia that runs under the skin, the way the neck and shoulders have been carrying themselves for years.

Massage is more than pressure on a sore spot. It’s a way of speaking to the body without words.

1. Softening the grip

The masseter is small but strong. Pound for pound, it’s one of the most powerful muscles in your body. When it stays contracted, it can feel dense, almost stone-like. So, I start slow… sinking in just enough for the fibers to notice. Then, little by little, they begin to release. Sometimes it’s like a sigh moves through the tissue.

2. Restoring glide

Your jaw doesn’t live in isolation. It’s anchored to a web of connective tissue — fascia that can grow sticky or dehydrated over time. By bringing warmth and circulation into the area, massage helps these layers move over one another again. That glide is what makes opening your mouth feel easy, instead of like pushing against a weight.

3. Rebalancing the chain

Jaw tension often starts above or below the jaw itself. A forward head position pulls on the neck. Tight traps pull from the shoulders. So, I work the base of the skull, the cervical spine, the tops of the shoulders. Sometimes, before I even touch the jaw, the space returns on its own… as if the body finally remembers it doesn’t have to brace.

In the moment, the change might feel small — a deep breath you didn’t know you needed. But the nervous system is paying attention. Each release is a quiet invitation for the body to choose ease instead of defense.

Techniques You Might Experience in a TMJ Treatment

Every therapist brings their own rhythm to TMJ work. Here’s how it might unfold when you’re resting on my table.

Myofascial release

This is slow. Gentle. My hands melt into your face. I wait. Let the fascia soften. Sometimes, you feel a soft give… then a pause… then more. It’s not an exit strategy. It’s a permission.

Trigger point therapy

Tiny knots might hide in the masseter or temporalis, causing masseter pain. When I find one, I linger. Just enough pressure. Not too much. You may feel a dull ache. Maybe a flutter. And then… a shift.

Intraoral work

In some states, therapists offer this. But here in Oregon, the rules draw a firm line around it. Internal or oral-cavity massage—including work inside the mouth—counts as "internal cavity" work and is strictly regulated. To perform it, a therapist must have specialized training, use gloves, obtain both written and verbal consent, and follow strict draping and protocol 

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So, unless you and I have covered that in intake—we stay external. Your comfort and the law guide every move.

Neck and shoulder release

So, I might start there instead. At the base of your skull. Along your neck and into your upper traps. Often, as these areas release, your jaw follows. The body begins to remember that it doesn’t have to brace.

Complementary support

Maybe I bring hot stones into the fold—to melt surface tension. Maybe it’s cupping—to lift and rehydrate the fascia. Or CBD oil—to ease inflammation. Each choice depends on what your body feels ready for.

Beyond the Massage Table

Relief doesn’t end when you step off the table. What you do between sessions shapes how long that ease lasts. Small habits, done often, can help your jaw remember its softer state.

Gentle jaw stretches

Place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth, just behind your teeth. Slowly open and close your jaw… keeping that tongue in place. This helps guide the joint without forcing it. Think fluid, not forceful.

Heat for deep release

A warm compress or heat pack over your jaw and cheeks can work wonders. Ten minutes. Slow breaths. Let the warmth sink into the tissue. Sometimes the heat opens the door for your muscles to let go on their own.

Posture check-ins

So, notice where your head is during the day. If it’s drifting forward toward your screen, gently draw your chin back until your ears stack over your shoulders. This single shift can take pressure off your jaw, neck, and even your temples.

Mindful unclenching

Your teeth don’t have to touch when you’re not chewing. Sounds obvious… but most people don’t realize they’re holding. When you catch yourself clenching, let your jaw drop slightly and rest your tongue on the floor of your mouth. It’s a small, instant reset.

Breath as an anchor

When stress builds, the jaw often answers first. A few slow breaths into the belly can send a quiet signal to the nervous system: you’re safe enough to soften.

The more you tend to these moments, the less your jaw has to guard. Your body learns...slowly but surely...that it can live in a state of ease.

tmj Self-Care and Prevention

Massage opens the door. What you do afterward keeps it from closing again.

Here are ways to help your jaw stay soft, mobile, and pain-free:

Check your clench

Throughout the day, notice. Are your teeth touching? Is your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth? So, when you catch yourself bracing, let your jaw drop slightly. Rest your tongue at the floor of your mouth. Breathe.

Stretch with intention

Gently open your mouth until you feel a stretch — not strain. Hold for a few breaths. You can also move your jaw side to side… slow and controlled. Think of it as reminding the muscles they can move in more than one direction.

Support your neck

A forward head position feeds jaw tension. Keep your workstation at eye level. Draw your chin back so your ears stack over your shoulders. This isn’t military posture. It’s an easy, upright stance that feels sustainable. This will also help if you're prone to headaches.

Mind your habits

Gum chewing, nail biting, or holding a phone between your shoulder and ear — they all load the jaw over time. Swap gum for water or herbal tea. Use a headset for calls. Small shifts matter.

Sleep position matters

If you’re waking up sore, your pillow might be part of the story. Side sleepers — make sure your head and neck are level with your spine. Back sleepers — avoid propping your head too high.

Keep stress outlets

The jaw is a storehouse for stress. Movement, journaling, breathwork… find your own way to let it move through. The less the jaw has to hold for you, the less it will.

Prevention isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about giving your body enough reasons not to guard. The more you practice, the more this ease becomes your baseline.

An Invitation Into Relief

Your jaw isn’t meant to live in defense. It’s meant to move. To open and close without effort. To carry your words, your laughter, your breath.

So, if you’ve been carrying that dull ache… or waking with tension wrapped around your temples… know this: it can change. The body is not fixed. It responds to care.

On the table, we work slowly. We listen. Each hold, each release, is a conversation between your nervous system and my hands. There’s no rush. Just enough time for the tissue to remember it’s safe to let go.

Between sessions, you tend to your jaw with heat, gentle stretches, mindful breath. You give it less reason to brace. And the more you do, the more that ease becomes your new normal.

You don’t have to wait for the jaw pain to become urgent. Relief is allowed now.

When you’re ready, the space is here — warm stones waiting, a quiet room, and the time set aside just for you. A place where the pull of tension loosens… and your breath finds its own gentle rhythm again.

Find relief today, by booking a massage online.