Self-Care Rituals for Stress and Better Sleep

Ever have one of those nights where you're completely spent...but then your mind decides to review every decision (and embarrassing moment) you’ve made since 2011? It’s frustrating. And it’s so common. Stress shows up in the body in a bazillion different ways. And in my not so humble opinion, the biggest way it messes with us is sleep.

I talk a lot about massage because it’s such a powerful way to reset the nervous system. And yes, regular bodywork absolutely helps with stress and deeper sleep. But let’s be real—most of us aren’t getting a massage every single day. I’m not either. So I get it.

That’s where having some kind of ritual can actually help. And I don’t mean a perfect 12-step wind-down routine with incense and ambient lighting (unless that’s your thing). I mean simple, consistent cues your body can learn to trust.

Just like how a toddler knows that once you brush your teeth, change into cozy jammies, and then snuggle into bed with a book—it’s time for sleep. Adults need those cues too. Our bodies respond to rhythm. And even if life’s chaotic, we can create little signals that say: it’s safe to rest now.

In this post, I’m walking you through a handful of self-care rituals that actually help. You don’t need fancy tools. Just a willingness to pay attention to what your body’s asking for.

Start With the Body: Release the Tension You’ve Been Carrying All Day

Let’s not overcomplicate this—if your body’s tight, wired, or in pain, good luck getting restful sleep. You can’t mindset your way out of a tense neck or clenched jaw. So before you try breathwork or meditation or any of that, start with the basics: your physical body needs to feel safe and supported.

Here are a few ways to help your body actually start to let go:

Massage at Home (for the nights in between appointments)

I wish everyone could get massage therapy every week (or day!). But in the real world, most of us are stretching time and budget. And this is exactly where self-massage tools come in (most are low cost, or sometimes even free!). You don’t need anything fancy—just a few go-to tricks that help unwind the tension you’ve collected all day.

Try this:

• Warm compress on your shoulders – like my favorite castor oil pack – or low back before bed, followed by some gentle stretching.

• A lacrosse ball for massage against the wall for that spot between your shoulder blades. You can also use a golf ball or a tennis ball. If you have any issues with your bones, like osteoporosis, I'd recommend a tennis ball. Although rare, I've heard stories of people using hard balls on their backs and breaking off one of their transverse processes (part of the spine). When in doubt...less is more.

• Slow, intentional strokes on your forearms or feet (yes, your own hands work just fine)

Even just five minutes will start to calm your nervous system and let it know that sleep is safe.

Gentle Movement That Signals “It’s Okay to Slow Down”

I’m not talking about a full yoga class or a late-night stretch session with mood lighting. I’m talking two or three simple shapes you can melt into at the end of the day.

A few of my go-to’s:

• Legs up the wall – resets everything

• Child’s pose – stretch your back, breathe into your belly

• Seated forward fold – if your hamstrings allow, it’s a good way to drop inward

The goal isn’t to “get flexible.” The goal is to shift your nervous system out of go-mode and into rest-mode.

easy Wind-Down Rituals

Look—your body doesn’t need a five-star spa experience to wind down. It just needs to know it’s okay to power down. And honestly? A little consistency goes a long way. You don’t need it to be perfect. You just need it to be yours.

What’s way more important than doing it “right” is picking stuff that feels natural to you. If something feels like a chore, your body’s going to treat it like one.

Here’s what I mean:

• A warm shower or bath to rinse off the day

• Herbal tea (my faves are kava kava, chamomile, or peppermint - or all three together (which is usually what I do)! Please not that I'm not a doctor. Nothing I say here should be substituted for medical advice through proper channels like an ND, Acupuncturist or Western doc. Certain herbs can interact with medications, so if you're on any medications or have health conditions, please speak to your doctor before starting any health or wellness regimens.

• Magnesium lotion or spray—especially on calves and feet. I personally use this magnesium lotion whenever my legs are restless or if I'm feeling extra achy.

• Putting your phone away 30 minutes before bed (I know, I know... but it really helps)

• Light stretching or just laying on the floor and breathing for a minute

Pick two. Repeat them. Let them become your body’s signal that the day is done.

My (Real-Life, Imperfect) Nighttime Routine to better sleep

Want better sleep? I recommend keeping it simple. Most nights it’s just a hot shower, laying on the couch watching The Walking Dead (I know...not nervous system friendly, but come on...we all have our guilty pleasures), take magnesium glycinate capsules, plus l-glycine (an amino acid that helps promote sleep), and some hot tea. If I have more time, I’ll stretch. If not, I don’t beat myself up. The key is consistency—not perfection.

Ritual doesn’t mean rigid. It means intentional.

how to sleep better at night naturally with Breath, Stillness & Scent

If you're wondering how to sleep better at night naturally, then you're not alone, my friend. We've all gone through periods of struggle where sleep feels elusive. Sometimes it’s not the tension in your shoulders or your endless to-do list that’s keeping you up—it’s just that your system hasn’t fully come down from the day. That wired-but-tired feeling? Yeah, that’s your nervous system still hovering in alert mode (probably because it thinks a zombie is still chasing you).

This is where the more subtle stuff can help. Things like, breath...Stillness...Scent. These tools are simple, but powerful when used intentionally.

Breath That Feels Like a Downshift

You don’t need a formal breathwork practice. You’re not prepping for a marathon or trying to “clear your chakras.” You’re just letting your breath tell your body: we’re done for the day.

Here’s an easy one:

Inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Hold for 4. Exhale through your mouth for 6 to 8 counts.

Repeat a few rounds. No force. No pressure. Just slower than usual.

Even three minutes of this is enough to slow your heart rate and get your system into rest mode.

Bonus: If you do this in the same spot every night—your bed, the couch, a floor mat—your body starts to associate that space with winding down. Pretty cool, right!?

Stillness Isn’t Boring—It’s Medicine

We’re so used to being overstimulated that stillness feels weird at first. Like something’s missing. But that “emptiness” is often the doorway to rest.

Try lying on the floor with your legs up a chair or couch, arms open, and just be there. No scrolling. No podcast. Just let your body settle. (Set a timer if you need a boundary—it’s okay to start small.)

Scent as a Cue for Safety

Essential oils aren’t magic, but they can be a powerful sensory anchor. This is why I use them in my massages in Beaverton. Your olfactory system is wired directly to your brain’s emotion center, so certain scents can help signal calm faster than a thought ever could.

A few I love for sleep:

• Lavender (obviously)

• Cedarwood – grounding and earthy

• Roman chamomile – gentle and soothing

• Frankincense – if you want something deeper and more meditative

Use a diffuser, a roller on your wrists or feet, or even just a few drops in your palm before bed. Just make sure to dilute them in a carrier oil...you never want to use undiluted essential oils on your skin because they may cause burns or other irrititation. You can use whatever you have in your kitchen...coconut, almond, even olive oil. Breathe it in slowly. Let your body get the memo: It’s safe to rest now.

how to get better sleep: shift the mind

Even if your body’s relaxed, it’s hard to sleep when your brain is still in drive mode. You’re horizontal, but your mind’s scrolling through tomorrow’s to-do list, remembering you forgot to reply to that text, and wondering whatever happened to that one coworker from 2014.

Sound familiar?

This is where mental rituals come in—not to force your brain to shut up, but to give it somewhere soft to land.

Give Your Brain a Place to Put the Noise

If your thoughts get loud the second your head hits the pillow, try doing a quick brain dump before bed. Just grab a notebook and write whatever’s swirling around:

• Stuff you need to remember

• Random thoughts that keep coming back

• Worries, ideas, even grocery lists

It doesn’t have to be organized. You’re not writing a novel—you’re just giving your brain permission to stop holding it all.

Release the Pressure to “Sleep Well”

This part’s important. Sometimes, the anxiety around trying to sleep well is the very thing keeping you up. We put pressure on ourselves to be good at rest. But rest isn’t a performance—it’s a relationship.

Try replacing “I need to sleep” with:

• It’s okay if tonight is slow.

• I’m still giving my body rest, even if my mind is active.

• This is temporary.

That little shift in mindset might be all you need to soften the grip and let your system relax.

Let It Be Simple. Let It Be Yours.

You don’t need a complicated bedtime ritual, a Pinterest-worthy setup, or twelve steps to serenity. You just need a few things that help your body exhale.

Start where you are. Pick one or two things from this list and try them out tonight. See how they feel. Adjust. Toss what doesn’t work. Keep what does. That’s the beauty of ritual—it’s allowed to evolve with you.

And if you’ve been holding your breath all day, pushing through stress and tension like it’s normal… this is your reminder: you don’t have to do it alone. Massage therapy is here for a reason. When your body's tired of being in survival mode, sometimes the most healing thing you can do is let someone else hold the space (because you really don't have to do it all by yourself).

If you’re ready to reset...I'm here. Let’s get you back to a place where rest feels possible again.

You can follow this link to book a massage in Beaverton...or just hit reply and tell me what part of your routine needs the most love. I’d love to hear from you.

You deserve rest. Real, deep, nervous-system-melting rest.

And it starts with one small, honest shift.

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